As my 40th birthday approaches on February 13th I have been doing some quiet introspection. I think the cold winter months here in Manitoba are good for this sort of thing. It gives you time to pause and reflect but also to plan for the year to come.
I've been guilty of not treating myself with the respect and admiration I hold for other people. I still find myself falling into this trap but I'm trying to do better.
Not only for myself but to show my 3 young daughters that they deserve to care for themselves as much as they care for others. That they are worthy.
I have struggled with believing in myself, never thinking I am good enough (hello imposter syndrome! 🙋🏻♀️). I also have a hard time doing nice things for myself, hell, sometimes I have a hard time doing essential things for myself, putting them off in order to care for others or believing I am not worthy.
So what am I doing about it?
I've tried to stop comparing myself to others. Instead I let my love, respect, and support for others ring out loud because it feels good to tell others what they mean to me. It reminds me that I am worthy of that too.
I am also embracing the fact that I am not for everyone, and that's ok.
I am trying to set boundaries. I used to let my desire to please everyone overwhelm me, consume me. I will do my best to not overload myself with others expectations of me (or the expectations I perceive there to be). To make wise choices with my business opportunities, this is a lot easier said than done but it's something to work on.
I've also started treating myself to things that make me happy and allowing myself to enjoy them, a hat, a haircut, a cup of tea, an amazing smelling candle, the energy to learn a new skill, or even anxiety medication 😂
These are things I never allowed myself to do before, believing myself selfish for wanting them. It feels good to put myself first, maybe not first, but at least somewhere.
I am looking forward to more of this in the year to come.
What about you?
How are you prioritising your happiness today?
What does self care mean to you?